and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
