I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
