I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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