Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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