Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
