Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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