Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
how does that bad decision feel?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
