Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize