Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
