Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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