i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
