I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
