I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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