You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
ok first of all what the fuck
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
