i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
