Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
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We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.