He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
