IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
