He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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