I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
