Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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