Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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