Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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