how can u be prego again
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize