You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You pole danced in your parka.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
