I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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