worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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