He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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