12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos