I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.