everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy