Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.