I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.