i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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