what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture