I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy