Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
