i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
