thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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