ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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