Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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