We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
