do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize