I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
