"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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