Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize