The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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