just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
