My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
