Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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