I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
