I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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