mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
