so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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