Got a toothbrush?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
