I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Randomize
