I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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