The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
