I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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