Moan for me like Helen Keller
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
