Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I skipped work to stalk him.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
