just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
