She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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