i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
