thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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