Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
