summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
