wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
