The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
